Friday, July 22, 2011

"It's Been Emotional" - in the words of "Big Chris" in Lock Stock!!

It was just too perfect to find one of my favorite movies playing on the night before Day 2.  I've loved "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" for just about forever and I loved it even more watching it in its native country.  The ending phrase from one of the movie's lovable villains, Big Chris, was just too perfect not to include in this Blog ;)

Day 2 started off with another Big English Breakfast (this does deserve to be capitalized) - consisting of eggs, bacon, sausage, potato scone, toast, stewed tomato and sautéed mushrooms.  This was on top of a fruit, yogurt and cereal bar - accompanied by tea, coffee, juice and milk.  One cannot say that the English don't send you off exploring the hills on an empty stomach.

I was fortunate enough to speak to two women at the next table and through the wiliness of one (an Irishwoman who lives down the street from Bono....visiting her, what??!!), wrangled a ride for the day with the other!  This was great for several reasons...

 1. I didn't have to navigate the "bollocks" public transportation system in TLD.
 2. I saved the 6L cost of the bus....yes, this is expensive....and yes, for the bus.
 3. I got to spend time with an incredibly interesting artist who was working on a commission for the 2012 Olympiad.
 4. I was taken to a place I would NEVER have visited left to my own devices....Brantwood, the home of John Ruskin.
 5. I got to finally be the passenger in a British car - i.e. I rode on the left hand side...whoo hoo!!!

After stopping briefly in the town of Ambleside (doesn't the name just make you want to walk around?) we set off to visit the home of some guy I had never heard of and who was supposed to just be my way to get to some Beatrix Potter stuff.  The Irishwoman - Rosin (pronounced Ro-Sheen) said he was a really cool guy that was extremely influential in the art and architecture world.  How had I NEVER heard of this guy??  Well, sometimes the best guys aren't the ones who grab all the headlines.

Ladies and Gentleman....prepare to be "briefly" introduced to Mr. John Ruskin...

John Ruskin - this guy is my new "person" obsession.   I had only heard this guy's name b/c he was in the "Welcome Book" from the hotel detailing the local sights.  He was definitely NOT on "My List".  Divine Providence is the only way I can describe this experience.  Turns out, he is considered to be one of the greatest thinkers, art critics, social reformers, architects, artists and.....just men of not only the Victorian Age, but of all ages and times (or so said Mr. Leo Tolstoy and I'm inclined to believe him).  And, Mr. Ruskin and I have the same birthday - Feb. 8th.  I can only encourage my readers to look this guy up and see what he was about - I plan to do a lot of reading on him soon....very soon.  This dude was writing poetry (and not Roses are Red, Violets are Blue stuff) at the age of 8 - weighty stuff and he defended the painter JMW Turner in a "Magnum Opus" of an essay in his early 20's.  This "little" essay later turned into 5 volumes on Art History which is considered a seminal accomplishment in art circles and is still read today.  His contemporaries and fans include Mr. Charles Darwin, Mr. Leo Tolstoy, Mr. William Morris (founder of the Arts and Crafts movement), Mr. Frank Lloyd Wright, Miss Charlotte Bronte and Mr. Mahatma Ghandi (who said that reading Ruskin's work changed his life and his life's purpose.....he was given the book after graduating from Law School, while riding a train in South Africa).  This is just to name a couple.  Some of Mr. Ruskin's radical ideas included Social Security, Rent Controlled Housing, Free Public Education, Public Ownership of Mass Transportation, Retirement Homes for the older generation and ....shocking....Free Public Healthcare and the dangers of Global Warming.  Yes, even in the Victorian Era, some people were concerned with all the pollutants being released into the air and water to poison us as a result of the Industrial Revolution.  I really could go on and on about this guy - and I would, except I mailed my Big (big with a capital "B") brochure home that had all the cool quotes and really neat-o facts.  I can only compare him to a Thomas Jefferson on steroids; but, like Thomas Jefferson, Mr. Ruskin only wanted to be remembered for a few things, this quote in particular, "There is no wealth, but life".  He left this in capital letters in his will and in his memoirs. Damn me for mailing my Big booklet home on him, I could really  more fully explain how this simple a quote is chocked full of deeper meaning.  Unfortunately, Mr. Ruskin led a very tortured personal and private life.  His marriage was annulled for non-consummation (and this wasn't just a ruse) wherein he fell deeply in love with a 9 year old girl while he was her drawing master.  Later at the age of 18 (he was in his 40's), they wanted to marry, but he had hamstrung himself with that pesky annulment years earlier and he found himself in a Catch-22.  His wife had gone onto a happy marriage with the painter, Millais, and if Ruskin married - her current marriage would be considered bigamous.  If he did, indeed, get married to this sweet young thang, then he should never have been granted an annulment for non-consummation all those years ago.  Sucked to be a Victorian, no??  So, Miss Rose and Mr. Ruskin loved each other from afar - communicating through intermediaries until she contracted some mysterious illness and wasted away at the ripe old age of 26 or so.  He was absolutely devastated and never recovered.  You do the "math" - the first relationship was never consummated and the second one never really took place....this guy turned out to be the 70 year old virgin!!  He went on to experience pretty debilitating mental issues that haunted him the rest of his life, BUT - still produced some incredibly scholarly works.  I suppose the adage of the "tortured artist" really rings true with this guy.  He lived into his 70's and died right at the turn of the century in 1900.  Anyways....look him up!  He is fascinating!!

To draw a TOTAL contrast to Mr. Ruskin, we now move along to Hill Top, Beatrix Potter's lovely little cottage/farm in TLD.  I didn't get nearly the wealth of information at this place as I did at Brantwood b/c they seem to be quite stingy with the details here.  It's almost like they don't REALLY want to share her too much - she belongs to them.

Beatrix Potter is most famous for writing a lovely set of "Tales" with an adorable cast of characters drawn from her everyday life.  Some of her "Tales" include The Tale of Peter Rabbit (don't go into Mr. MacGregor's Garden", "The Tale of Benjamin Bunny", "The Tale of Mr. Jeremy Fisher (a nattily dressed frog), etc.  As I mentioned in a previous blog, one of my favorite characters is called "Hunca Munca".  She is a mouse involved in a  Tale of naughty mice.  Postcards are on their way to some and for those of you reading with kids, I cannot stress enough that these "Tales" should be part of you and your child's life.  Forget Dora, Thomas and Barney!!!  Re-Discover the wonder, the magic and the charm of Beatrix Potter!!!

In contrast to Mr. Ruskin's weighty tomes, Mrs. Potter wrote delightful stories.  Whereas Mr. Ruskin was tormented in his private life, Mrs. Potter and her husband were very much in love - evidenced by the initials carved into the fireplace in their bedroom after 21 years together.  Mr. Ruskin influenced the architects of his day and those of days to come, Mrs. Potter helped found The National Trust whose mission it is to preserve these buildings.  Mr. Ruskin was taken care of by his friends and family; Mrs. Potter was a savvy businesswoman who made her own fortune rather than inheriting it.  When she died, she owned more than 14 farms comprising 4000 acres of land.  Prices in TLD are like those in London or New York - i.e. NOT cheap!! 

Her house is pretty quick to walk through - it's dim and smells of a wood-burning fireplace.  There are no placards to read and you have to pay 4L for some crummy little brochure that doesn't really tell you that much.  I hate to say it, but I think I'm going to have to learn the majority of my Beatrix Potter information from the recent movie starring Renee Zellwegger called Miss Potter.  How did I not hear about this movie when it came out in 2006....and she was nominated for a Golden Globe - these things don't usually slip by me.  

Anyways, Hill Top was charming - but it was now time to part company with my artist driver.  We were on our way to the ferry when she decided that she no longer had time to (ok, I'm watching Family Guy right now and they are spoofing the "dance" by the tranny in Silence of the Lambs with Chris as the tranny....SOOOOO wrong and SOOOOO funny)...back to TLD..

She no longer had time to do the ferry so dumped me on the side of the road - in the rain - turned around and drove off.  Hey, it's England, right??  At least I speak the language to figure this situation out.  It was no problem - I paid my 50p to ride the ferry, walked a mile to Bowness (pronounced Bo-ness), finagled my way onto a bus by annoying the driver so much with my questions that he just waved me on in exasperation and found a seat on the top deck to enjoy the sunshine.  Oh yeah - another contrast...rain the day before, sun the 2nd day.  Also, on the ferry - me, the pedestrian, sharing the ferry with 8 different Lotuses (fancy cars for those of you not in the know). 

The ride back to the Manor was lovely, I met up with Rosin for dinner and found myself at the grave of Mr. William Wordsworth.  So, in honor of Mr. Wordsworth, I have included one of the poems I saw highlighted in TLD....

The Tables Turned

Up! up! my Friend, and quit your books;
Or surely you'll grow double:
Up! up! my Friend, and clear your looks;
Why all this toil and trouble?

The sun, above the mountain's head,
A freshening lustre mellow
Through all the long green fields has spread,
His first sweet evening yellow.

Books! 'tis a dull and endless strife:
Come, hear the woodland linnet,
How sweet his music! on my life,
There's more of wisdom in it.

And hark! how blithe the throstle sings!
He, too, is no mean preacher:
Come forth into the light of things,
Let Nature be your Teacher.

She has a world of ready wealth,
Our minds and hearts to bless
Spontaneous wisdom breathed by health,
Truth breathed by cheerfulness.

One impulse from a vernal wood
May teach you more of man,
Of moral evil and of good,
Than all the sages can.

Sweet is the lore which Nature brings;
Our meddling intellect
Mis-shapes the beauteous forms of things:
We murder to dissect.

Enough of Science and of Art;
Close up those barren leaves;
Come forth, and bring with you a heart
That watches and receives.

How wonderfuls is this poem??!!
 
After dinner, Rosin and I walked past his house, Dove Cottage.  Even though I didn't go on the Wordsworth tour (the place was closed) - I did see his poetry in many places around TLD and can now understand where he got so much of his inspiration and why nature features so prominently in his work.

So - in closing The Lake District part of my trip.....The lovely Lake District enchanted me just as much as it did my mother, Beatrix Potter, John Ruskin and William Wordsworth.  Green hills dotted white with sheep, dry-stone walls stretching as far as the eye can see, mysterious mists clinging to the Fells and water present all around - the dew, the rain, the lakes, waterfalls and streams.  I only spent 2 days here but it will remain with me for far longer.  I am very happy for TLD to have "Seen Me" and for me to have seen it. 

Stay tuned for what will definitely be an in depth look at Scotland's famous Whisky Trail.  I have loved my time in Scotland and with 2 more days before leaving for France, I still have a lot to see......and taste!!!!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Lake District - Idyllic, Bucolic, Somnolent....it exhausts my vocabulary!!

What can I possibly say about The Lake District (TLD from now on) to do it justice?  I knew it was going to be beautiful, but I wasn't prepared for the "presence" it exhibits.  TLD is located in the Northwest part of England and is famous for several unique things and residents...

I am going to do 2 postings, b/c I don't want you to feel like there is too much to read in one sitting (although there is a lot in this first one)...and, b/c both parts were equally interesting to me.  One day was facts about the area and the other was all about the interesting/famous residents who have called TLD home.

First, I arrived in Windermere by train from London and took a cab to my very quirky hotel/B&B.  It was an old manor house built during The Victorian Era in 1853 by the Earl of Lowndon.  Tiny does not begin to describe my room, but it was quiet with no squeaking beds or doorways....so it was PERFECT!!  I was picked up the next morning by a "coach" called The Mountain Goat where I piled in with 16 other people.  My sunny weather did not last up to TLD - rather, it was raining, raining, raining.  Actually, it reminded me a lot of Portland - drizzle, a little sunshine, just as you leave your jacket in the coach - RAIN, then gray, a little sun and finally, more rain!

I had a crap seat b/c I was the last person picked up and due to the fact that it was chilly outside and warm inside, the windows were steamed up.  No matter...

We began a steep climb up the Fells (aka mountains) on a "road" called "The Struggle".  They are not kidding - struggle we did up 1500 feet into the mist - finally breaking through at Kirkstone Pass.  This was an ancient trading route and is the highest point in TLD.  It was named by the Scots for a stone they found which looked like a church.  Kirk means church in Scottish.  You cannot see the stone - it is hidden.  Probably smart.  One of the first cool facts I learned about TLD was regarding one of its defining features .... (well, maybe the fells and Kirkstone were the real first cool thingg, but I didn't begin taking notes until this one...)

1. Dry Stone Walls - as the name suggests, there is no glue/mortar holding these walls together, they are simply stacked stones.  After the Enclosure Act of the 18th century, these walls sprouted up as farmers/landowners divided up their property and marked their property lines.  These walls are gorgeous and it is rumored that there are between 5-7,000 miles of them throughout TLD - in other words, they are everywhere and very much a part of the landscape.  They also provide a nice scratching post for the sheep.

We crested Kirkstone Pass and descended into the Valley where Hartsop Village is located.  Interesting fact #2 - 

2. Hartsop Village/Patterdale was visited by St. Patrick at some point (I can't remember what year the guy said) where in Mr. St. Patrick blessed the waters.  Fortunately for the residents and depending on whether you believe in blessings or not - NOBODY in this area was affected by The Plague.  Years later, the church that was dedicated to Mr. St. Patrick was the first Church in England to be lit by electricity.  Neat.

Onwards we went past the Dockray Hotel where Mr. William Wordsworth and his new bride, Mary, spent their honeymoon.  More on Mr. Wordsworth in pt. 2.

The next stop was at Castlerigg - i.e. a mini Stonehenge.  It is thought to be 4000 years old but nobody really knows what it was used for.  Either a market, a plotting of the stars, or a gathering place for witches.  Regardless, you have a 360 degree view of the surrounding mountains, hills and fells (remember, a fell is a mountain...so this info felt a little redundant).  Cool thing about this place - the stones are from 30 miles away.  No draft animals back then, so you can only imagine the work that went into hauling these stones 30 miles, up a big hill and then placing them so carefully and specifically.  Unfortunately, the place was crawling with both people and sheep.  The sheep were cool, but they had shat EVERYWHERE and I was more concerned with not stepping in bombs.

A Lake Cruise followed Castlerigg.  However, due to the nasty weather, it was a bit "bollocks".  Love this word.  Again, cool outside, steamy people inside doesn't make for a very scenic cruise.

We docked in Keswick and by this time, I had gotten COLD.  My feet were wet from avoiding sheep shat and I had on 3/4 length hiking pants that were doing a good job of wicking away any moisture but were open for a draft.  We were turned loose for lunch, but my first stop was the outdoor store where I bought the biggest, brightest, wooliest turquoise green socks you've ever seen.  In other words, I looked SEXY!  Don't worry, I took a picture of myself looking silly.  This is where total anonymity is good.  I could never show my face in that town again ;))

Onwards past Seathwaite - officially the wettest place in England with 3 inches of rain per week.  Hmmmmmm - why would you live here?

Driving, Driving, Driving for a while.  Remember, I am stuck in the middle b/c everyone had chosen their seats by the time I got on the bus.  I was craning my neck left and right trying to take in all the spectacular views that were racing past me.  One thing I couldn't help seeing were the amazing amount of one specific flower.....can you guess....???  Interesting "fact" #3

3. Foxgloves - my new flower obsession.  It's funny b/c these are the first flowers I chose to put in "Mom's Garden" back home.  I loved them at the Chelsea Physic Garden, sent postcards with botanical drawings of them and was blown away by the plethora of both purple and white species up here.  When I say they are everywhere, I'm not exaggerating.  I heard a lovely saying about foxgloves, which is that they represent Life.  They continue to drop and re-sprout their gorgeous flowers higher and higher up their stalks as they mature.  Kind of like the saying that we all get better with age.  I liked this.

The next stop was at the Honister Slate Mines.  I wish we could have taken a tour b/c this looked like an absolutely amazing operation!!  Wish I had more to say about this other than most of the slate mined from this area is for roofing tiles.

We stopped down in the valley after the descent of a 25% grade and were let out of the bus for 5 minutes to take a couple pictures....these pictures are cool facts #4 & #5...

4.  I took a picture of this HUGE rock and later found out it has a name other than HUGE rock.  It is called a "Glacial Erratic".  Kinda sounds like a good name for a band, right?  The Glacial Erratics....opening for U2!  Anyways, they are large stones not originally from that valley.  They were brought with the glaciers that carved these valleys out of the fells in a distant time past...long, long ago.

5.  Valleys can be "V" shaped or "U" shaped.  A "V" shape is carved by a glacier moving basically 1 way - forward.  A "U" shape occurs when the glacier moves from side to side as it is moving forward.  You can really see the difference in TLD.  Neat little historical geology lesson there.

Driving, Driving, Driving....past Braithwaite which used to be home to a pencil factory back in 1693 but moved to Keswick in 1892 after a fire.  Ho Hum

Drove past Cockermouth...wow...didn't anybody think about that name before settling on it??

Part of the gorgeous landscape in TLD is b/c everything is so bright and brilliant despite the gray skies and drizzly weather.  The green of the fells and trees is sharply contrasted with the purple foxgloves and pops of yellow.  Also, you see sheep everywhere.  No cows really, just sheep.  Well, that brings us to interesting fact #6.....Herdwick Sheep

6. Herdwick Sheep are a super, super hearty breed of sheep that are found only in TLD.  They originated in the 12th century in Scandinavia and were brought over by the Vikings.  They are totally disease and parasite resistant. However, their wool is very coarse and only used either for carpets or house insulation.  Beatrix Potter (more on her later) became a local expert on the breed back in 1920 and purchased lots of land and farms in the area to promote the breed (which she did quite effectively, b\c like I said...they are everywhere!).  Upon her death on Dec. 22, 1943, Mrs. Potter left all her land to The National Trust which she helped found with this bequest.  Because of her generous donation and in recognition of her life efforts, all National Trust buildings are carpeted in wool from Herdwick Sheep.

After some more driving, the day came to an end and I was dropped back off at The Forest Side "Hotel" where I partook of a "brew" to restore myself.  Dinner in the village of Grasmere, a little walk and it was time for beddy-by.....

Next up....Day 2 in TLD where I learned about some of TLD's most famous residents and personalities....and they were fascinating!!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Taking the Whaw-ters in Bah-th

I need to complain more about the lack of sun over here b/c as soon as I did - I was given a glorious day to enjoy the charming town of Bath - or as the British say "Bah-th".  Bath is a UNESCO World Heritage city first discovered by the Romans and lauded for its "Whaw-ters" which are said to have healing powers.  Haven't really read anything to back this up but what the mind thinks, the mind believes.

I have wanted to visit Bah-th for ages - since it features prominently in Jane Austen's "Persuasion".  Jane Austen also spent a lot of time here as a young woman, so that made it a "must see" on my long list.  For those of you who don't know that I'm a HUGE Jane Austen fan, you do now.  I have read all her books, some of them more than a couple times.  If you've never had the pleasure of escaping into her world, I highly encourage you to do so.  Nobody writes with such a lyrical quality and I feel completely transported as soon as I pick up one of her novels.  Most people immediately go for "Pride and Prejudice", but I prefer "Persuasion" and it is argued by some to be her best work.  It is the story of constant hearts - both a man and  a woman's.  I like the idea that men can carry just as bright a torch as women.  Anyways - I went by the Jane Austen centre, but quickly had to leave when I began to sweat, couldn't understand a word being spoken around me and upon being confronted with "I Heart (the symbol) Darcy" bumper stickers.  Rather than subject myself to the touristy Jane Austen, I decided to walk the streets that she once did and channel her in my own way.  

Bah-th is famous for its Georgian architecture as well as for the golden glow of its buildings that are built from local sandstone.  As the sun sets, the buildings seem to gleam.  I particularly enjoyed this sight from the rooftop pool I was bathing in at the Bath Spa.  There are 2 particularly famous places in Bath - The Circus and The Royal Crescent.  The Circus is "quite daring" for its departure from the typically Georgian square.  As the name suggests, it is actually a circular grouping of 3 sets of buildings - like a Circus Ring.  Thomas Gainsborough, the famous 18th century painter lived in #17 at one point.  Unfortunately, the beauty of The Circus was somewhat disrupted b/c the sidewalks were totally torn up and there were red and white warning "sawhorses" everywhere....Sigh.  No good pictures taken here :(  You continue up Brock Street, come around a corner and The Royal Crescent is spread out before you.  Also difficult to get a picture that does it justice.  Pity for me, as I went jogging the following morning, there is a lovely lawn down below it that showcased The Crescent in all its early morning glory...no people, no cars, no noise - just wonderful morning sun....and I had no camera.  I suppose its just one of those sights that is destined to live in my mind's eye.  Not such a bad thing - but I did REALLY want a picture of what I was seeing (as I was listening to Mason Jennings).  I progressed down through some gardens - still, an amazingly beautiful day - and wandered back to my Hostel so I could officially check in.  Attention all - this was my very first Hostel experience!!  All in all - it gets a rating of "OK".  Not great, not bad.  I was definitely crammed into a room full of bunk beds (12 to be exact), a door that made a loud scraping noise every time it was opened or shut and located above a bar called "Belushi's".  I didn't sleep great as my bed squeaked and creaked every time I moved and b/c of the constant opening and closing of the door throughout the entire night and into the early morning.  BUT - everybody was nice for the most part, it was cheap and I'm guessing this is just one of the things you accept when staying at a Hostel.  

After checking in, I headed to the other part of town I hadn't yet explored.  This took me to Bath Spa, The Pump Room, The Bath Abbey, The Pulteney Bridge and the Parade Gardens.  The Pump Room was a great "Beth" experience as I had my first "High Tea" since arriving in England.  I had tea where Jane Austen, Thomas Gainsborough and countless other aristocrats have dined and socialized.  The tea was outstanding and I can see why the Brits want to take a break every day around 3 or 4 to indulge in this "pastime".  Onto the Abbey - apparently the very first King of England (before William the Conqueror) was crowned here.  This is when England was divided up into fiefdoms/counties/territories - or whatever.  The Abbey is quite beautiful and even though it is definitely smaller than Westminster or St. Paul's, I would argue that it is just as beautiful.  I lit another candle for Mom.  Trucked along to the Pulteney Bridge which was nice, but is really just a big street filled with shops.  You can't see the water you are crossing over.  The Parade Gardens were also lovely, but you have to pay 1L (that's the best Pound symbol I can make with the iPad) to enjoy them.  Fair enough - I paid my Pound, walked around and killed time until I could go indulge at the Bath Spa.  

The Bath Spa was not something I had planned or intended to go to - in fact, it didn't show up in any of my research, but somehow my feet took me there and I'm glad they did.  It was a new building built to harvest these "Whaw-ters" people are so wild about.  I paid my fee of 25L (yes, this is expensive) and my extra 4L for a robe and set off to figure this place out.  Even though I enjoyed myself, it really just felt like a small public pool - but on a rooftop.  I had the same feeling I did at The Blue Lagoon - one of isolation.  It was filled with couples and foreigners....still, I did my best enjoy my solitude.  The cool part of the place was the Sauna and Steam rooms.  This is something I'm told I'll really enjoy once I make my way to Budapest - which apparently has more Suanas and Bath Houses than any other Eastern European country - with 118.  I stepped into a futuristic room filled with glowing pods - they glowed green, purple, blue and red.  Each one was filled with a different scent - mint and eucalyptus, lavender, cinnamon or something else I couldn't identify.  The mint and eucalyptus was neat, but it burned my eyes horribly.  I sought out the lavender and liked it better, but I think I preferred the cinnamon one the best.  I sweated out all my worries and toxins, put up with the intolerable heat as long as I could and then ran for the cold showers which felt AMAZING after that heat.  Another dip in the rooftop pool as the sun set and I was done.  

Terribly for me, something in the Bah-th air really set my allergies off and I felt pretty miserable the rest of the evening.  I took my Claritin, but this English pollen is super powerful.  I'm hoping that this prediction of rain will set me to rights again and get the nasty stuff out of the air.  I didn't want to miss a night of revelry, but the allergies got the best of me.  As I have mentioned in a previous post, I am off to The Lake District - writing this in the Euston Train Station waiting on my train to Oxemholme Lake D.  I'll sign off for now, enjoy my next couple of days in the Northwest English countryside before making my way up to my roots....i.e. Scotland!!!!  I can almost hear William Wallace bellowing "FREEDOM" in my ears right now......

Friday, July 15, 2011

Achtung!!! Strongly expressed opinion to follow....

As I promised in my last blog...what follows, is my diatribe on children in museums. I will first preface said diatribe with the following...

1. I am in no way commenting on any of my friend's children in this post (Ariel, Les, etc.)
2. I recognize that children are people, too.
3. I do not hate children.

HOWEVER, it has come to my attention that the modern parent has lost their perspective when it comes to the term "age-appropriate". I cannot say how many times I heard my mother comment about "a child being too young to be _____", or "it's too late for that child to be out", etc. As much as I loved London and especially The National Gallery, I was fighting to enjoy my time in the various museums (particularly The British Museum) b/c I was bombarded and assaulted on all sides...constantly...by children and their lackadaisical parents. And not just children....badly behaved and poorly supervised/disciplined children. I recognize that this is not the child's fault; rather, it is the parent's. So, consider this a primer for the modern day parent to help distinguish whether or not their child is of an age or attitude to be foisted upon the unsuspecting public trying to enjoy a world class museum.

If your child fits any of the below criteria, DO NOT take them to museums such as The National Gallery, the Tate Modern, the British Museum, etc.....really, just insert any museum, theater or place in this space geared toward adult enjoyment and education...a Mad Libs, of sorts.

If your child _____________, do not take them to ____________, but consider __________.

1. Is in a stroller
2. Is yet unable to speak
3. Is not yet potty-trained
4. Throws fits and is unable to understand "the tone" or "the countdown"...OR chooses to ignore either
5. Cannot understand the meaning of the word "NO"
6. Breaks away from you at a full on run and screams at the top of their lungs
7. Whines constantly about "being bored"
8. Needs to be carried
9. Asks constantly, "When can we go" or "Why are we here"
10. Wants to lay down in the middle of the floor or refuses to use their legs to walk
11. Tries to put gum on a priceless painting (YES, I saw this almost occur to a Constable!!)
12. Spins, Spins, Spins with their arms outstretched and their bag hitting anyone unfortunate enough to be within their midst
13. Pushes people out of the way or bites them to accomplish the same result...OR..
14. Spits at people

Then they are TOO YOUNG to be at________ (insert museum here, for me)!!!!! But Beth, children need to be exposed to culture. I hear this - but if they are TOO YOUNG to appreciate it, what good is it really doing them?? This is why there are children's museums, animated movies, playgrounds, sports, camps and any other number of activities that are AGE-APPROPRIATE! Expecting a child to understand the importance and contribution of an 18th century landscape painter is just cruel to the child (and many adults I know!). Just because YOU, the parent, think your child is gifted, and you WANT them to fully appreciate these places - DOES NOT mean they will. What they will in fact do, is mar the experience of those who have traveled great distances and gone to great expense to immerse themselves in these wonders.

In closing, I want to re-affirm that I DO NOT hate children. I may, perhaps, have one or two someday (snort!)- BUT, the difference will be that I will constantly have my mother's voice in my head always reminding me that just because I want my life to carry on as it once did - It cannot. Life is different when you have children and sometimes a parent may be forced to forego pleasures once enjoyed in lieu of those the child would.

On a sunnier note - my next posting will be about my day in Bath (or as the British pronounce it...Bah-th). I'm on the train back to London in a few where I catch another train up to Windermere. It has been gloriously sunny in Bah-th, but rain is predicted over the next several days. Here's hoping my too-expensive REI rain jacket will do its job properly....

Missing everyone!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Mostly from the V&A - NOT the VMAs

Here are some impressions from the past several days....

* I realize that London is one of the greatest cities in the World but the Sun has got to get on board with the concept of Summer. Gray, Gray, Gray - go away and come back some other day (or week!)
* I have been caught up in the SCAN-DAHL of the century - the closing of the newspaper "The News of the World". Rupert Murdoch and co. were tapping phones illegally in order to get the juiciest, most salacious gossip??!! NO!!! Say it isn't so....?! turns out, ole Rupert and I were both at Hyde Park yesterday breathing the same air according to The Evening Standard....I thought things seemed a little funky...
* Queen Victoria loved her husband. A LOT. A WHOLE LOT. Evidenced by the enormous statue in Hyde Park across from the Royal Albert Hall. I was strangely moved by this testament for her love of him (even if I thought the monument was kinda ugly).
* If you are a Peer of the Realm and can't pay your taxes, the Victoria and Albert Museum will graciously accept your invaluable and priceless tapestries in lieu of payment....as I read on "The Swan", "The Otter Hunt", "Falconry" and "Deer Hunt" - tapestries dating from between 1430 - 40. It said, "Accepted by HM Government in lieu of tax payable on the estate of the 10th Duke of Devonshire & allocated to the V&A Museum." Who is hating life?? The 10th Duke of Devonshire is!! One square meter of coarse tapestry could be a month's work - "The Swan and Otter" is more than 40 sq. meters. For my American followers, 40 sq. meters = HUGE!!
* My love of Beatrix Potter has been reawakened - how can one NOT love names like "Jemimah Puddleduck" and "Hunca Munca"?? I will go see her house in The Lake District - expect postcards with characters on them. At the V&A, I discovered a series of floral watercolors that brought tears to my eyes; Beatrix Potter said, "Flower painting is a genteel art celebrating the beauty of nature". She took pride in the botanical watercolors included in some of her most famous "Tales" - i.e. The Tale of Peter Rabbit, The Tale of Benjamin Bunny, The Tale of Jemimah Puddleduck, etc.
* I engaged in serious Jewelry Porn. Diamonds, Rubies and Emeralds, OH MY!! Photography was definitely NOT allowed in the jewelry wing of the V&A.
* The ubiquitous "Mag-Lite" flashlight (or "torch" as it's referred to here) is in the Modern Design Gallery of the V&A. It is made of anodized, precision-machined, aircraft aluminum. Maglite torches are shock and water-resistant. Who knew my parents were paragons of Modern Design....considering we had a Mag-Lite in every room growing up!!
* I should have lived in the Victorian era and attended Balls - I would have looked stunning in the candlelight. At least I did in the reproduction Music Room lit only by "candles" reflected in mirrors. No wonder so many ugly women got married back then and too bad for their poor husbands when they finally saw them in the light of day!!
* I attended Evensong at Westminster Abbey and managed to cry almost the entire service. For someone who is not very religious, I could have fooled myself. I think I just felt closet to Mom - especially when the choir sang....this is going on my Life Resume.
* Had Fish & Chips...not sure what these "Mushy Peas" are all about. The Brits can have them.

Stay tuned for my future diatribe on children in museums....

Leaving London tomorrow and heading for Bath. I'm probably not staying long enough, but my extra day in London and my (now) strong desire to see The Lake District have taken over the original plan of Devon/Cornwall/Plymouth/Bath. I guess this is what traveling with no real itinerary is all about - making and then changing decisions. I've booked a hotel in The Lake District for 3 nights, arranged the trains and purchased a comprehensive 1 day tour of the area. I'll go by Beatrix Potter's house and just enjoy some time in stunning beauty. I think I'll do some hiking and exploring. Will be a total change from the hustle and bustle of London. For someone who thought they walked fast, I've had a RUDE awakening...need to pick up the pace apparently...!!!

Love to all.....

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Physic vs. Physics

London continues to treat me well - it showed me some sunshine today and prompted me to strap on the ole running shoes and head for Hyde Park. Amazingly, my host lives LITERALLY 2 blocks from the Park. I was initially concerned about getting lost but soon realized that the park is well marked and let my anxiety go. With MGMT playing, I explored all Hyde Park had to offer - The Italian Fountain, Prince Albert statue, the Flower Gardens, Princess Diana Fountain, Isis statue, Serpentine Garden, and the Peter Pan statue (nostalgia, what??!!). People watching was at its finest and I perched for a spell on an embankment and just indulged in one of my favorite pastimes while I rocked out to Muse - Black Holes and Revelations!! My host, Jess, has only popped over to the Park once or twice....FOOL!!

A quick shower later, and Jess and I set off for the Chelsea Physic Garden. Apparently, Chelsea is the posh place that "Kate and Wills" go out in - as well as Mayfaire....where I had Thai food last night. I saw my first live Birkin bag ;) The garden was fantastic and not at all what I expected. Silly me, I say the word "physic" and expected something like the Children's Science Museum in Nashville. Instead, it was a fantastic garden founded in 1673 by the Society of Apothecaries for their apprentices to learn to plant medicinal plants and to study their effects. Physic really means "the natural world". I saw the largest olive tree growing outside in Britain and learned that the original cotton seeds sent to Georgia (i.e. the Colonies) came from this garden!! Overall, an incredibly worthwhile experience and one that I'm glad "Saw Me". I had a lovely lunch of "mixed salads" - watermelon, feta and kalamata olives; squash, mint, proscuitto, peas and edamame; endive, cress, peaches and filberts...the perfect "garden and park" day. Too bad it kicked my allergies into high gear but that's what I brought Claritin for :)

Also - had to take a picture of the Jack Daniels poster in The Tube b\c it had the word "Tennessee" on it...what a taste of home, huh??

Tomorrow, it will be a day of museums and my first day to navigate The Tube by myself. If you don't hear from me, I am stuck underground. Another "worthy" day in London, as my Mom would say, and I'm looking forward to more.....

Saturday, July 9, 2011

London Called and I Answered!!

So, after a whirlwind couple of weeks that had me in Chicago, Roanoke and Knoxville - I set off on Thursday for the airport after kissing the dogs a few too many times. If they didn't know something was amiss, the tears tipped them off.

I have been advised by my London host, Jess, that the key to writing a Blog people will continue to read is to KEEP IT SHORT...bullet points. Since she is in Marketing as well, I will attempt to follow her advice (at least for this posting as I can always tend to be long-winded).

* Flew Business Class to London, but my bag did not. It decided to join me the following day
* Wine Bar, Cider at a Pub and Wurst comprised the first night's festivities
* Saw "We Will Rock You",the Queen musical in Tottenham. It Rocked me, for sure!!
* Engaged in Cheese Porn at Neal's Yard Dairy...mmmmmmmmmm
* Walked along the Strand and the Embankment for my first London vistas
* Made a date for coffee with a rich Saudi woman who wants to talk to me about a job

I'd say London is treating me right so far, no??