Achtung!!! Strongly expressed opinion to follow....

As I promised in my last blog...what follows, is my diatribe on children in museums. I will first preface said diatribe with the following...

1. I am in no way commenting on any of my friend's children in this post (Ariel, Les, etc.)
2. I recognize that children are people, too.
3. I do not hate children.

HOWEVER, it has come to my attention that the modern parent has lost their perspective when it comes to the term "age-appropriate". I cannot say how many times I heard my mother comment about "a child being too young to be _____", or "it's too late for that child to be out", etc. As much as I loved London and especially The National Gallery, I was fighting to enjoy my time in the various museums (particularly The British Museum) b/c I was bombarded and assaulted on all sides...constantly...by children and their lackadaisical parents. And not just children....badly behaved and poorly supervised/disciplined children. I recognize that this is not the child's fault; rather, it is the parent's. So, consider this a primer for the modern day parent to help distinguish whether or not their child is of an age or attitude to be foisted upon the unsuspecting public trying to enjoy a world class museum.

If your child fits any of the below criteria, DO NOT take them to museums such as The National Gallery, the Tate Modern, the British Museum, etc.....really, just insert any museum, theater or place in this space geared toward adult enjoyment and education...a Mad Libs, of sorts.

If your child _____________, do not take them to ____________, but consider __________.

1. Is in a stroller
2. Is yet unable to speak
3. Is not yet potty-trained
4. Throws fits and is unable to understand "the tone" or "the countdown"...OR chooses to ignore either
5. Cannot understand the meaning of the word "NO"
6. Breaks away from you at a full on run and screams at the top of their lungs
7. Whines constantly about "being bored"
8. Needs to be carried
9. Asks constantly, "When can we go" or "Why are we here"
10. Wants to lay down in the middle of the floor or refuses to use their legs to walk
11. Tries to put gum on a priceless painting (YES, I saw this almost occur to a Constable!!)
12. Spins, Spins, Spins with their arms outstretched and their bag hitting anyone unfortunate enough to be within their midst
13. Pushes people out of the way or bites them to accomplish the same result...OR..
14. Spits at people

Then they are TOO YOUNG to be at________ (insert museum here, for me)!!!!! But Beth, children need to be exposed to culture. I hear this - but if they are TOO YOUNG to appreciate it, what good is it really doing them?? This is why there are children's museums, animated movies, playgrounds, sports, camps and any other number of activities that are AGE-APPROPRIATE! Expecting a child to understand the importance and contribution of an 18th century landscape painter is just cruel to the child (and many adults I know!). Just because YOU, the parent, think your child is gifted, and you WANT them to fully appreciate these places - DOES NOT mean they will. What they will in fact do, is mar the experience of those who have traveled great distances and gone to great expense to immerse themselves in these wonders.

In closing, I want to re-affirm that I DO NOT hate children. I may, perhaps, have one or two someday (snort!)- BUT, the difference will be that I will constantly have my mother's voice in my head always reminding me that just because I want my life to carry on as it once did - It cannot. Life is different when you have children and sometimes a parent may be forced to forego pleasures once enjoyed in lieu of those the child would.

On a sunnier note - my next posting will be about my day in Bath (or as the British pronounce it...Bah-th). I'm on the train back to London in a few where I catch another train up to Windermere. It has been gloriously sunny in Bah-th, but rain is predicted over the next several days. Here's hoping my too-expensive REI rain jacket will do its job properly....

Missing everyone!!