Lay-DEEEEE!!!

So - after a flight from Neveshir, I found myself back in Istanbul.  Josh and  his girlfriend, Elif,  were still off adventuring in Ankara so I had the apartment to myself.  However, I returned to an apartment with no water.  But please don't jump to the conclusion that Josh had not paid his water bill - this is apparently a common occurrence in Istanbul.  I was shocked.  Josh took it in stride.  He knew it would be back on at some point...that isn't really good enough for me, though.  I really wanted a shower after a full day of hiking in dusty Love Valley (remember, this is the same night).  It was not to be and I fell into bed.  When I awoke a couple hours later, it was to a horrifically upset stomach that plagued me the remainder of the night and following day.  I tried to leave the apartment once, but needed a bathroom too quickly and too often to make it very far.  Best to stay in a "comfortable" place as opposed to constantly looking for a toilet in Istanbul (welcome to the land of the in-ground holes...i.e. squatter toilets).  No thanks.  At least I had a good book to keep me company - "Game of Thrones".

The next day dawned and I felt totally better.  I was a little disappointed that an entire day had escaped me, but what was done was done.  Best to make the best out of the new one.  Even though my stomach still felt tender, it was growling at me.  So, I indulged in my first kebab (of many) -  shaved meat on bread with fix ins'.  For less than $1, it was a bargain not to be passed up.

Here is what my National Geographic article says about Istanbul...and yes, I tore the article out like a good Momma's girl and brought it with me...

"Bridging Asia and Europe, Istanbul has been the site of grand dreams for more than 2,000 years:  Early Christian emperors sought to establish a New Rome here in Byzantium in the fourth century, Crusaders plundered the city's riches for the Venetian doge in 1204 (I ended up seeing some of this plunder!!), and wily storytellers charmed their way to the top in the sultan's 16th-century harem.  In shifting the capital of his new Turkish Republic to Ankara in 1923, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk (this dude is EVERYWHERE) hoped to break Istanbul's spell.  Yet the Sultanahmet district, containing the city's main tourist attractions, continues to mesmerize - like the recent discovery of frescoes from Constantine's Great Palace during construction of the Four Seasons Hotels addition.  This is also the district to go to for a wave of new shops that channel the city's heritage with goods like playful Ottoman-themed clothing (I didn't really see any), avant - garde felt hats (didn't see these either) and contemporary kilim patchwork rugs (maybe).  Named a European Capital of Culture for 2010."

So, there you go according to National Geographic Traveler.  Of the 9 things they "recommend", I saw 6 - The Topkapi Palace, The Hagia Sophia, The Blue Mosque, The Grand Bazaar, The Cemberlitas Hamam and the Spice Bazaar.  I missed The Basilica Cistern, the Rustem Pasha Mosque (although I did watch men wash their feet out in front of it) and The Archeological Museum.  Not bad, I'd say.

First on my list of places to see - The Blue Mosque...

In 1616, Sultan Ahmet I built his answer to the imposing Hagia Sophia and the exquisite Suleymaniye mosque to the west: a structure boasting a presumptuous, Mecca-matching six minarets.  Today, the nickname of Turkey's still operational primary mosque is derived from some 20,000 blue tiles "depicting the Gardens of Heaven in an explosion of color and light," says historical ceramicist Sitki Olcar.  "They represented the last and best skills of the fading Iznik tilemakers".

I followed the herd of people past what looked like the entrance to the "tourist" entrance...and met my first "helpful" Turkish guy.  At first, I thought the guy worked at the Mosque, b/c he appeared out of thin air to direct me to the correct entrance - and nodded when I asked if he worked there.  Then, he very nicely continued to escort me to the entrance.  Finally, when he kept standing in line with me, I had the feeling that he didn't work for the mosque.  I told him I was fine and that I appreciated his help, but he was free to go help others.  He told me he would meet me outside after I was finished.  HUH???  I mumbled an "Uh, ok" and went inside.  I took off my shoes and put them in the plastic bag provided at the entrance and covered my head with the scarf I had brought.  The Blue Mosque is beautiful - but it was just a big, beautiful building with hordes of people milling around inside.  I had hoped to sit in on a prayer, but that is my naivete at work...I was kicked out 15 minutes later as prayer was about to begin.  Non-worshipers not allowed.

I exited the Mosque and slipped my shoes back on...where - conveniently - there was a guy standing behind a podium with a "donation" box asking people for money for the mosque.  I could just hear Mom saying, "I don't THINK so!"  I got my bearings for a second and was about to head off in the direction of Topkapi Palace when - all of a sudden - ...again...my little helper friend appeared.  UGHHHH.  I plastered a smile on my face and tried not to appear rude.  He asked me where I was from, who I was here with, did I have a husband, a boyfriend, how did I like Istanbul...and finally....would I like to go to his shop.  Ah-Hah....there it was.  His shop.  Now I get it...troll the mosque and surrounding areas for tourists to drag to your family's shop in hopes we have money to burn.  I politely told him I was on my way to the Palace and that "No" I did not care to go to his shop, but "Thank You".  Do you think he got the picture??  You're right.  Nope.  He, again, "escorted" me to Topkapi Palace.  I constantly told him that he did not need to do this but he explained that he wanted to practice his English.  Well, ok...fair enough.  We got to the Palace and I decided to sit down for a minute to chug some water.  After 20 minutes of conversation, I figured he had received enough practice.  I went to go get my ticket - my eyes carefully peeled to see if he was following me.  When my ticket was in hand, I glanced over at the bench and checked to make sure he wasn't watching me - I darted through a crowd of people and threw my shawl over my head again to escape.  Success!!

Topkapi Palace - 
Despite being the home to four centuries of sultans and thousands of servants, and the administrative center for an empire that once spanned the Mediterranean and the Near East, Topkapi is surprisingly low-key (uh...I guess...I am copying this from a magazine article).  "It's modest, not like Versailles," says Topkapi Palace Museum Director Ilber Ortayle.  True treasures are inside: an emerald-encrusted throne, the evocative harem quarter (which I did not go to because it was ANOTHER $20...on top of the $20 I paid to get in the damn Palace...should have been included in the first fee!).  Perched on Seraglio Point, the palatial compound is also the district's best place to view the sunset (don't know...wasn't there at sunset).

I don't know if I agree with this assessment.  Anyways, I paid for the audio guide hoping to really unlock the mystique of Topkapi Palace.  Total waste of money as Mom would say.  Here is an example of the audio guide...

Me:  Walking up to the sign that says "Circumcision Room"
The Audio Guide:  You are entering The Circumcision Room.  This is the room where circumcisions were performed.

Uhhhhh... Thanks.  I got that from the sign.  More interested in why there was an entire room, the belief behind circumcision, some details around the ceremony (don't worry...I get the main point of it)....etc.

I wandered around.  Took some pictures.  Ooooohed and Ahhhhhed over the jewels - those were cool - and tried to imagine going to war back during that time when I went in the armory, which was SUPER cool!!  Looked out at the Bosphorus and called it a day.  Neat thing was that I remembered seeing a lot of the treasures as a kid when Mom took a group of students down to Memphis for one of the "Splendors" exhibits.  I distinctly remember the Topkapi Dagger from the Splendors of the Ottoman Turks exhibit.

Side note - another thing I miss tremendously about Mom.  Her constant trips.  But, I'm thankful of all the cool places she took me as a kid - especially getting to go on all the High School trips to the Biltmore and to Memphis when I was a puny elementary or middle-schooler.  I always felt so cool getting to be around the "big kids" as Mom called them back then.

I was tired at this point and after being sick the day before, decided I had done well for the day.  I exited the Palace and  heard the first...of MANY...calls - "Lay-DEEEEE".  I looked over my shoulder...first mistake.  A guy caught my eye and I held his for half a second....second mistake.  He approached me...I stood there confused trying to decide if I knew him....third mistake.  He began talking to me...I answered...fourth mistake.  I started walking, he followed me...I allowed it...fifth mistake.  Took me another 20 minutes to shake him.  Had to go through the same conversation as the Mosque and Palace guy - what was my name, where was I from, where was I going, was I here with my husband/boyfriend....DID I WANT TO GO TO HIS SHOP??  Aaarghhhhh!!!  Nooooo!!!!!

Being raised in the South has just NOT prepared me to be rude when being rude is called for.  It is not in my genetic code.  Josh and Elif later instructed me that I had to pretend like I didn't hear the call, not to make eye contact, tell them to leave me alone and when one touches me (which they did), to shout "Shame on you!!"  Ba-hahahahaha...imagine an American guy being told "Shame on you"...and it working??!!  Well, the Turks - as good Muslims - KNOW they shouldn't be touching strange women on the street and "Shame on you" reminds them of that.  I may be a Western hussy...but they will have to discover that for themselves, they are not allowed to just assume it.  Kidding about the hussy part, of course!

Thankfully, the water had come back on in Josh's apartment - but here I will digress for half a second.  I really had my eyes peeled around Turkey trying to imagine it as part of the European Union - and frankly, I just can't see it.  I don't know if my personal "prejudice" is clouding my judgement but Istanbul does not feel "European" to me.  And that is not a statement made simply because of how the people look or the difference in the food, etc.  Germany is clearly different from France and Italy in both its cuisine and the general look of its people.  No, in Istanbul it is something else.  Despite the fact that their economy is thriving in these tough times - I looked around and saw a government unable to cope with the size of its country and its largest city.  In Josh's neighborhood, which is very nice - in the "old part of town" near the walls of Constantine, the sidewalk is being ripped up and replaced.  No big deal, right?  WRONG!!  I have never seen such a catastrophic process before - exposed rebar, gaping holes, construction detritus strewn all over the place, random boards stacked up so people can get from the street up into the neighborhood...picture walking a gangplank. People have stacked cinder blocks against the walls to stand on in order to reach the ATM machines all along the street...AND - there are NO warning or safety signs ANYWHERE!!  In fact, you just kind of have to dodge traffic at times. Basically, thousands of people walk through a dangerous, open construction site all day every day.  I just kept thinking..."Would NEVER happen in America.  Someone would get SUED!!"  Now, before you think that I sound like a Princess - please don't.  I made do just like everybody else and nothing bad happened.  It is more a comment on the lack of regulations and the lack of care around how this massive construction site impacts the every day lives of the people in the area...and the fact that there seems to be NO plan as to how this project is conducted and carried out.  Nobody in charge.  And, of course, I had to guffaw when I saw that hallmark of construction scenes - One guy doing a little work while another 5 or 6 guys stand and watch him.  I took a picture of this as well as all the other images from above.  I think this is just a symptom of a bigger problem....remember the water being cut off?  People would be up in arms if the water was just randomly shut off for hours at a time for no reason and with no forthcoming explanation.  Totally bizarre.  And finally, the public transportation in Istanbul.  Again, I realize that Istanbul is one of the larger cities in "Europe" with over 25million people - but there is simply NOT ENOUGH public transportation for this number of people.  I was astonished at how crammed full the trams and buses were.  I rode the tram everywhere - and it is a nice, modern, air-conditioned line.  But the number of people allowed onto these things is flat out un-safe.  At one point, I could feel myself getting light headed as I was unable to even draw breath there were so many people pressed against me.  Thankfully, I am slightly taller than the average woman (and many men) so I at least had my head above the fray...but so many others did not and during the hottest of the summer, I can only imagine the conditions.  Instead of a car coming every 15 minutes, can't one come by every 10 or 5??  Isn't this what transportation engineers and city planners do?  For those of you reading who are in this field or into this kind of thing....get your butts to Istanbul immediately!!  They need your help. Granted, at least Istanbul has public transportation unlike so much of America.  But that is a reality I have accepted and it does no good to even make a comparison.  So, what was my original point?  Oh yeah, Turkey joining the EU.  I guess this is something I'm going to have to do some more research on.  But don't get me wrong!!  I loved Turkey and would go back in a heartbeat (my stomach might protest) - it is vibrant, exciting, exotic, friendly, beautiful and historic.  It's got some more steps to climb, though.

Ok - back to the sight-seeing....

Josh was kind enough to meet me the following day in order to escort me through the Grand Bazaar and the Spice Bazaar.  

The Grand Bazaar - Mehmet the Conqueror's 15th-century covered bazaar was the last stop on the Silk Road.  "The best thing about the bazaar is its unconquerability," says novelist Elif Shafak, who relishes calm weekday mornings when store-owners chat together over tea.  "No matter how much time you spend there or how many times you go, you always feel like there is more that needs to be seen."  The dome-covered labyrinth contains about 4,000 shops of gold, carpets, ceramics, antiques and leather.

For many men, this would have been torture.  It is blocks and blocks and blocks - probably a couple miles or so - of shops selling anything and everything you could ask for in Turkey - scarves, silver, tea, tea sets, ceramics, towels, clothes, boots, bags (there is an entire leather section but I saved this indulgence for Florence), seeds, candies, nuts and dried fruits...and, of course, the ever present "Evil Eye"..or Nazar Boncuk.  This is the "mascot" of Turkey.  The eyes are on EVERYTHING!!  Here is what it actually means....

Eyes - the mirror of the soul - are powerful in every culture, but are particularly highly valued in the Middle East and the Nazar Boncuk has become symbolic of the Turkish and Turkish hospitality.  The Nazar Boncuk means, "Mas Allah" - God has willed this - and thus deflects the evil that could result in jealousy.  For example, it a man buys a new car, the neighbors might well be jealous and look at the car with envious eyes.  This could attract the attention of the forces of evil and bring bad luck to the car and its driveer.  Hanging a Nazar Boncuk in the rearview mirror kind of says, "God wanted me to have this car so you shouldn't be jealous and envious....or those bad feelings will be reflected back on you by this bigger and more powerful eye."  There ya go.

So, you are supposed to hang this "Eye" in a prominent place where every visitor you receive passes by and sees it.  One will be hung at 1004 Ridgecrest Dr. in Franklin, TN.  We don't need ANY more bad luck!!

Josh dutifully followed me around and eventually turned into my Sherpa, hauling all my purchases around.  That's just the kind of guy he is.  Even though I was tempted, I did not give in to the temptation to buy any leeches.  Yep, leeches.  Apparently a hot commodity in Istanbul.  Josh could not have been more surprised when I told him about the pet leech Mom had as a kid for a science project - the leech was called "Pierre".  For those of you that knew Mom, you can imagine how unlikely this story seems....but it is true!

Josh also advised me on how to be an effective bargainer and I do have to pat myself on the back a little here - I think I did pretty damn well.  First, since I don't speak Turkish (obviously) - I KNEW any time I asked what the price of something was, it was horribly inflated.  I would look at them and shake my head with a smirk on my face and use my hand for the signal "come on, you can do better than that." - as well as saying, "Uh Un - give me the Turkish price".  These men love to bargain with Western women.  That's the other thing....NO women shop owners...not a one!!    The important thing is not to offend with your counter offer- make it a little more than half what they quote you.  It takes on a weird, sexual, flirting tone. But Mom was the ultimate bargain hunter and I learned from the best.  The second rule - you gotta be willing to walk away if you don't get the price you want.  And I walked away from a couple guys - they just weren't willing to play the game.  The third rule - try to buy more than one thing at the same place.  You are only going to get someone so low by buying 1 scarf one place and 1 scarf at another.  Finally, you can pick up "freebies" by following this forumula...make your bargain with a guy, pretend like he was got the better of you, act like you are about to walk away and then pick up a dish, or a couple evil eyes or some earrings and ask him to "throw these in" and you got a deal.  Worked like a charm!!  Remember, it isn't whether or not you actually GOT a deal, it's whether or not you FEEL like you got one.
  
At the Spice Bazaar, I bought some tea, picked up a few scarves and grabbed some seed packets.  I would have liked to have purchased a Turkish Tea Set, but something tells me Amazon may be able to satisfy that urge once I get home.  I have spent more than I thought shipping things back to the States at this point.  My impulse control has slowly weakened as the months have gone by.  But, I have always enjoyed shopping for others just as Mom used to love it.  Who else has a "present closet" in their house??

Evening arrived and it was time to head down to the water to meet Elif for dinner, drinks and Nargeelah.  What is Nargeelah, you may ask??  It is that lovely Middle Eastern tradition known as "The Water Pipe".  An indulgence that I greatly enjoy - and thanks to Jenn Gray, can enjoy whenever I want.  She and my former marketing assistant bought me a small hookah and some flavored tobacco for my birthday 2 years ago.  It is such a relaxing way to spend the after dinner period of an evening...or the pre-dinner part.  Whatever floats your boat.  Elif and I shared a "Rose and Mint" flavored Nargeelah that never seemed to go out.  A bonus of smoking in the traditional areas....the Water Pipes are HUGE...from the ground up to my waist or higher.  AND, people come around to stoke your pipe and provide new coals for it.  In America, you have to pay about 1/2 the price of the original pipe to keep your coals going.

 A light snack and we set off for Taksim.  An area of town known as the "hot" area for going out.  It was neat - lots of modern shops, restaurants, cafes and bars - yep, bars.  Definitely HORDES of people, though.  We found a quiet bar with a nice rooftop view and grabbed a beer.  There is really only 1 beer in Turkey called Efes.  Turkey can keep it.  It tastes like Miller Lite or Coors.  I'd rather not have beer than drink that.  

We headed home in the "Dolmusch" after our Taksim experience.  As I mentioned, public transportation is a nightmare in Istanbul.  But, owning a car is even more ridiculous.  Josh says he would like to own a car not to drive in Istanbul, but to drive OUT of Istanbul.  If there are 3 lanes in Istanbul, that means there is room for 5 cars and a bus abreast.  Lanes mean nothing and it is a Mad Max battle to get anywhere- people are always honking and jockeying for better position to move an inch.  The Dolmusch has sprung up as an alternative to a cab and the bus.  It is a weird bus/taxi hybrid and means about the same thing as "Dolmas" - stuffed grape leaves.  It is a "stuffed" minivan.  It runs a specific route and only leaves the stop once it is full.  It costs about $.50 more than the bus, which is ALWAYS full and much slower....so it is a bargain!  Josh explained that this is the private sector's way of filling in the gaps left by the public sector.  Fair enough.  It was cheap...and probably safe.  I just tried not to pay attention to the way the driver was violating every road rule in the book.  Since I didn't see many accidents on the road, I suppose the people of Istanbul have figured out a way for their chaotic roads to work for them...again, wouldn't fly in America.  Maybe Rome and possibly Paris (definitely NOT Germany)...but this was different and more aggressive than even those cities.

Finally, Friday had arrived and I only had one more day left.  Elif and I had another appointment with the Hamam for my last hours in Istanbul.  So, I headed out to the Hagia Sophia.  The Blue Mosque and Topkapi Palace are definitely worth seeing, but the Hagia Sophia is NOT to be missed!!

"It was the greatest cathedral in all of Christendom and remained so for a thousand years."  Not 50 year, not 100 year, not 500 years.....A THOUSAND years!!  That is a LOOOOOOONG time to be the "greatest".  It was built by Emperor Justinian in 532 and confirmed Constantinople's position as capital of the eastern Holy Roman Empire. (One of my Aussie friends from Budapest had never heard of the Holy Roman Empire...sigh).  When the Ottomans conquered the city in 1453, they immediately converted it to Istanbul's principal mosue.  "Vast and mighty from the outside, its cavernous interior, soaring dome, and tenth-century golden mosaics will leave you dazzled."  Dazzled, I was.  This place reeks of Religious Power.  To know you are "the best".  The "Best of the Best" is quite someting in a time where every city and every cathedral was striving to outdo the other.  It is a huge space that exhibits both Christian and Muslim motifs.  I should probably have paid for "the private guide" - but I was suspicious.  The "private guides" are dudes that lurk around the ticket office offering their "services".  Next.  So, I just wandered around to different groups, listened for a moment to make sure they spoke English and then lingered for as long as it seemed appropriate.

After the Hagia Sophia, I finished up some shopping and then rolled back to the apartment to meet Josh, Elif and Sibel (a friend of Josh's from Portland who I have become friends with as well) and we headed out again for a "last night in town" dinner.   Dinner was great but I still maintain that I am just NOT a lamb person.  I want to like it.  Every now and then I have some that I don't hate.  But - like liver, beets and Guinness, it is just not for me.  I can taste it in everything and can taste anything it has touched.  I had to be boring and order the chicken because all the "meatballs" and "other" meats had lamb in them.  I hate to conform, but Lamb....not my thing.  

Saturday dawned and I headed over to Elif's apartment which is just around the corner for a lovely last brunch with Josh before Elif and I headed off for our Hamam experience.  I already treated you to what that includes, so I won't go into it all again.  However, 3 differences - this one was a "bottoms only" place - i.e. topless, my hair got washed at this one - which was pure heaven and there was a soaking pool as the step after your first scrub and bubble massage and before the oil massage.  We went to the Cemberlitas Hamam - designed by Suleyman's favorite architect, Sinan, this plain yet elegant 1584 bathhouse is gorgeous and relaxing.  I loved touching the walls that women like me (well, not JUST like me) have been touching for hundreds of years.  There is a real freedom to the atmosphere and I WISH we had places like this in Nashville.  I would be a member and heading off to the Hamam at leaset twice a month....maybe even once a week!!  I'll keep my eye out......

A quick (packed) tram ride back to Josh's apartment to grab my stuff and it was off to the airport for a flight to Rome.  For those of you thinking about going to Istanbul or flying from Istanbul to another destination....a word of advice.  DO NOT fly out of Sabia Ghockem airport....even if it is cheaper.  It feels like you have to change states to get there!!  Sometimes, cheaper is NOT better when you factor in travel time.  I was ignorant, though - you readers will not have the same excuse ;))

So, this concludes the Turkey part of my trip.  Next up, Italy.  Ughhhh.  Just not what I had envisioned...but I will attempt not to just complain and bitch.  There were a couple nice things, but overall, it just didn't turn out the way it should have.....

Until then :)