Venice was weird. No two ways about it. It started off pretty bad but rebounded. Now that many weeks have passed, I have tried to put things in perspective a little bit. However, it is not a place I will re-visit. I have seen it. Why was it "weird" you may ask. Well, it is hard to exactly pinpoint...but it is like a frozen, Italian, tourist Disneyland without the rides. I do not know what locals do, who they are, etc. The only things in Venice are tourist shops with "Murano" glass, T-shirts, Venetian masks and other chotchkes in them as well as Hotels and restaurants catering to tourists - i.e. all menus in English. Yes, you can wander the "back alleys" but you see nothing....windows are shut, no people around, no "sounds". The houses along the Grand Canal are beautiful but most of them are historic buildings, have been converted to hotels or restaurants, etc.
I admit - I had no real idea what to expect of Venice. I have seen it in movies, romanticized it, know a bit about its history and knew it contained several items on my "Seeing Me" list - St. Mark's Square and The Guggenheim being at the top of the list. This is where I am a bit stupid, I suppose. I did not realize that the ONLY way to get around Venice is by water taxi. So, after stepping off the train and avoiding the huge mob of protesters (don't know what they were protesting), I found myself in the Water Taxi line, having NO idea which way to go. I tried to figure it out myself for about 20-30 minutes but finally gave up and asked for help (sigh, me and maps again). Ok, off we go to the "Fish Market" stop. Looked in wonder at the houses on either side of the Grand Canal as I struggled to keep my balance amongst the tuna can packed "Vaporetto" while making sure my stuff was safe from pick-pockets. I also looked around and noticed that the entire boat was filled with tourists....and that the other hundreds of boats were similarly filled. Where were the locals?
Struggled off the Vaporetto and headed in search of my hostel. I had a map - which I soon realized was almost useless in Venice. I asked each market owner every 50 ft. or so and finally found myself in front of an un-marked door. I pushed every button until an irritated voice identified itself as La Pescheria - the Hostel. Yippee!! In I went - dark and cavernous, it was an old building, but charming. No decoration and definitely the smell of something not fresh. Up the stairs I went into the "reception" office where I encountered the rudest individual to date in Europe - worse than Hu-Bear, the French car snob. No welcome. No How do You Do. No question about the trip or if I had any trouble finding the place. And it wasn't a language barrier. He was "Indian" - sorry to assume...he could have been Pakistani, maybe Bangladeshi....but I'm going with "Indian sub-continent" for now. He took my passport and demanded his money. The vibe was so wrong. I asked him if I could go look at the room first before committing to the full 4 nights. He didn't really even answer, but I retrieved my passport and went upstairs. Everything inside of me shrieked "NO!" This is not what I had envisioned upon staying in Venice. The room was on the top floor, had dirty carpets, stained walls, cracked windows that would neither open nor close and a smell that just made me uncomfortable - and at 45 euro a night!! I went back downstairs and told the guy that I found the place unacceptable and I would like to cancel my reservation - that the price of the place was not in conjunction with what I found upstairs. I was told too late for today but he would allow me to cancel the remaining reservation and "Good Luck" finding another place in Venice. "What did I expect? It is Venice. Everything is expensive." I decided not to engage any further with him but asked for the Wi-Fi code. He said there was no internet and I would have to go downstairs to their cafe. Fine - but I pointed out that their Hostelworld profile said they had internet. I asked which cafe it was and he pointed to a place on the map that had to be on the complete other side of Venice!! What??!! At this point, I admit, I was spluttering. "How far away is that place". About a mile and a half he told me. I asked him if there was not an internet cafe closer to which he said, "How should I know?" At that point, I lost it a little - especially when he said it was the "only" night life place in Venice. As if I cared about that, I only wanted internet access. After I asked him (in a sarcastic voice) how it could possibly be ok that they advertise as having internet but that in reality it is almost 2 miles away - he just looked at me and said - "What do you want from me?" Well - he heard what I wanted from him - and in a more forceful voice than was probably necessary. Then, he said, "Why you talk to me this way?" I calmed myself down, apologized for raising my voice and explained exactly why I was upset....1. The lack of customer service 2. The false advertising and 3. The condition of the establishment. When I asked if he could understand why I was upset, he flatly said, "No". Fine.
Unfortunately, I stalked out and was several streets away before I realized I had left my iPad on his desk in all my fury. Nothing is more embarassing than having to re-visit the scene of an episode looking like a fool. But I did - with as much dignity as I could muster. I politely took my iPad which he held out to me upon my entering the room, said "Thank You", and left again. It did not take me long to find a little place tucked down a side street that VOILA had Wi-Fi....not even a 3 minute walk from my shit-hole....and you KNOW the guy knew this!! I sat down, composed myself and just decided to get going on finding a new place to stay. Meanwhile, the very sweet server approached and I asked for a recommendation on a glass of wine. He went in, spoke with the owner- who smiled out at me through the window and mimed that he was choosing me a great glass. It arrived, I tasted it and had to struggle not to spit it out. It wasn't turned....it was just awful. The server asked me what I thought and I politely said that unfortunately, it wasn't my preference. I looked at the owner and mimed this as well - sending the glass back and indicating that the owner should taste it. His face said it all - and he almost spit it out. Another glass was brought out by the owner- better than the first, still not great - but whatever. I then asked for a dinner recommendation - what did he think was the specialty of the house? He asked me if I liked pizza..."Well, of course!" I stated enthusiastically. He got excited and asked if he could make me one himself of his choosing. "Absolutely!!" I crowed! This is what I had been looking for in Italy! While I waited, I combed the hostel and hotel sites in Italy. Rude guy was not joking - Venice is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I found a tolerable place back by the train station and booked it. My pizza arrived. I was not thrilled by the look of it, but hey - it's only the taste that matters, right? I cut a slice and bit into it....UGHHH!!! GROSS!!!! What is this??!!! Since the guy was watching me - I couldn't spit it out. I smiled at him until he looked away and then I looked down to figure out what was so rank. Who would have thought that in giving someone leave to create a pizza for you, that you needed to specify canned tuna is not your first choice on a pizza??!! Well, now all you readers know!! But, eat it I did - I was starving.
I finally left the cafe and made my way back to the hostel. Upon entering the room, I met my roommates - lovely people. We decided to go out for a beer and ended up having a couple. When we got back to the room, we stayed up talking a while longer and I began to think this wasn't so bad. Besides, traveling is about the people you meet, right? Not just about the accommodations - who spends that much time in the room anyways?? Well, about an hour later, I noticed something crawling on the wall behind one of the guy's heads. I mentioned it to him but he wasn't concerned. I then said, "Hey - kill that bug, what are you doing?" He did - and then I asked to see it. I hadn't really had that much experience with Bed Bugs yet - I thought you couldn't really see them and that they were tiny like chiggers. NOPE - a quick internet search and I confirmed that it was a Bed Bug. At that moment, my eyes scanned the walls and I saw more bugs. I glanced at my stuff - still zipped up and away from the beds and walls - and told the girl to trap one of the bugs, I was going to get the owner right now - and wanted one for evidence. I also asked Steve - a great guy from San Francisco - to please come with me to back me up with the owner who clearly hated me. It is almost 11pm by now.
I found the guy and with a super effort to remain calm and to keep my voice neutral, explained what we had found. His immediate reaction was, "So what, you want to leave now?" I had expected resistance so I - again - calmly stated that he had a problem in the room, that we had discovered Bed Bugs and did he want to accompany me upstairs to see for himself? He said, "No. People bring them in. What do you want me to do?" At that point - I realized this was not going to be nice. I got my "Mom" face on and shot out the word "Unacceptable" a couple times. Steve had remained silent to this point. The owner again started in on my tone of voice to which I responded in kind and reiterated how we had arrived at this point. Then, the owner uttered the magic words, "She Can Leave." That dumbfounded me for a second. Huh?? You have Bed Bugs but I am the problem here??!! He told Steve that there was another room that he and the 2 others could move into but, "She Can Leave." I literally started to laugh at that point. The guy would not look at me. He told Steve again that he could move to another room but, "She Can Leave." I opened my mouth, with a huge grin on my face, too shocked for real words but just wanting to let loose - when Steve grabbed my hand, propelled me away from the encounter and led me up the stairs. Readers, I have NEVER in my life felt like engaging in physical violence more than I did at that moment. I am totally serious - I took leave of my senses for about 5 seconds as I pictured myself striking that man or strangling him. I am not proud of this image, but I had it. I felt pure rage.
We got back to the room - I was glassy-eyed, I think. And my mouth was probably hanging open a little bit. Steve had a bewildered look upon his face as well - he is a a guy that grew up in Napa Valley, golfing and sailing. He and I were both out of our element with this kind of nonsense. I was shaking my head, numbly getting my things together. He asked if I could go to the Hotel I had booked for the other nights....and could he come with me? I said, "I don't know. You have a room here." He then said, "Do you think I want to stay in THIS place with BUGS??!!" That broke the "shock spell" and I started laughing hilariously. We informed the other two what was going on. The other guy had his stuff together already but the idiot girl said she didn't mind staying in the room. I opened my mouth to question her sanity, but thought better of it. Let her stay. Not my concern. My concern was finding a place to stay in Venice at 11:30pm.
I called the new hotel, confirmed that I could head that way and got a ridiculously vague set of directions to get there. In fact, was even told - AGAIN - that "It's Venice, you are supposed to get lost" My response? "Not at 11:30pm at night when it is raining!" Within about 15 minutes of my encounter with "Indian guy", I was out the door with Steve on my way to the Vaporetto. Wouldn't you know it, Venice decided to open up its skies and let the rain pour down. We waited at the Vaporetto for 20 minutes and had to let the first one go by it was so crammed full. We then found out it would be another 30 before the next showed up. It was just getting better and better. Steve made the decision for us to walk and I grudgingly conceded that it was our best option. So we walked.....and walked.....and walked......and walked. In the rain. Down and alley, back up the same alley, up a bridge, over a bridge, down a bridge, around a corner, through a deserted piazza, up and alley, down an alley...... Both laughing about the utter horror of the experience and at random intervals, both saying the 3 magic words, "She Can Leave."
We arrived at the new Hotel at around 12:45am - struggled inside, checked in and received keys.... only to find out that we were actually staying at a hotel a little farther away...HUH? Back out into the rain...WHAT?! I just want to get into my room!! As I started to question this, Steve grabbed my arm again and ushered me outside - he knew what was about to happen. After only knowing me a couple hours, he had me pretty well dialed in. Once outside as I started to huff and puff - he just looked at me - rain streaming off both of us - and shrugged his shoulders. I started laughing. The perfect antidote to anything. This was officially an "adventure". We set off again. Up and over a bridge - into another sketchy looking building - and finally arrived at our room. One double bed for me and a single for him. I don't know how that happened - he thought I had requested it, I hadn't - but it was a good arrangement for two strangers....even though at this point, after a couple beers, a meal, a lot of conversation and a Bed Bug adventure, I felt like this guy was a good friend. Strange how that happens when even stranger circumstances are dictating.
We got acquainted with our room, did a Bug check and laughed about how we both felt like we were itching. The mind is awful. Just then, I noticed something up on the wall near the ceiling. I was bleary-eyed at this point and Steve said, "Uh-Oh". I dragged a little cabinet over to the wall to climb up on - so I could examine this new bug....and upon close examination, realized it was just a mosquito. Just as it was about to fly away, I slammed my hand forward to kill it - and splattered BLOOD all over the wall and myself!!! Steve and I both screamed (even though he is a manly guy) and I fell backwards off the cabinet onto the bed, holding my blood covered hand out in front of me....SHRIEKING!!! We both then danced around the room, squealing "Gross" and "OMG OMG OMG" until I raced for the bathroom to wash my hands and get something to clean the blood off the wall. Yes, literally BLOOD! From who knows what person!! At that point, exhaustion took hold....he went for the shower, I found some tennis to watch and managed to fall asleep before he emerged. That is being tired for you.
The next day dawned and from here on out, the Venice trip was pretty routine. Steve and I split up during the day to do our own thing and met back up at night for dinner and drinks. He was there 2 more nights - having someone to split the hotel bill with was great - and I was there 1 more night past him. One thing we both agreed on (well, maybe 2) -1. I will have to get to San Francisco for a beer so we can reminisce about that experience and 2. The people in St. Mark's who succumb to having the pigeons crawl and crap all over them for pictures are LOONS!!
In Venice - I did all the things one is supposed to do....except ride in a Gondola. For over 100 euro...."I DON'T THINK SO!!" as Mom would say.
1. Went to the Rialto Bridge and had coffee and that famous orange Venice cocktail just beneath it with a stellar view of the Grand Canal.
2. Went in St. Mark's - paid the extra fees to go to the top where the "fake" horses are (the real ones are inside and you are not allowed to take pictures of them) - these were looted from somewhere at some time. I mailed my Europe book home already, so I cannot pinpoint it exactly. They are cool though. I read my iPad at the top and enjoyed the view. Went downstairs and paid my other extra fees to see the gorgeous altar piece. I did not go down to the Treasury....those were a few extra fees too many for me.
3. Took the boat out to Murano Island - went to the glass blowing museum and did some souvenir shopping.
4. Visited Peggy Guggenheim's home and saw her outstanding personal collection....as well as the graves of her many dogs. There was another temporary exhibit housed downstairs that was wonderful.
5. Finally had GOOD pizza in Italy on my way to her "museum" - Artichoke and Cheese....mmmmmmmm. Pizza on the street was the best food I had in all of Italy...the rest of the Venetian food is totally immemorable. Oh yeah, except for the WORST Carbonara I have ever had...pasta with scrambled eggs is what I got. I may never have Carbonara ever again.
6. Went to the Ca'Pesaro Art Museum - absolutely fabulous and one of my favorites that I visited in all of Europe. A high point of Venice.
7. The Doge's Palace
8. A couple of churches other than St. Mark's....sorry, can't remember their names...I'm sure Sant or Santa something or the other ;))
9. Wandered around and "Got Lost" which is "de rigeur" in Venice.
That was Venice. Like I said, it started out horrifically but turned itself around for the most part. I maintain what I stated at the beginning though....Venice is weird. Other than those things that exist for tourists, I'm not sure what else there is. That is not a criticism and the things for tourists are outstanding....but, the prices are outrageous!!!!
I will leave you with one "funny" thing. On the back of the map that the hostel owner begrudgingly bestowed upon me, there 20 pictures with "instructions" below them.....I must share them with you.....word for word!! Misspellings intentional here.
1. If you have a coffee, 1 euro, in a bar with chairs and tabbles you can use the toilet free. If the Bar refuses to let you use it, note down the name and the street number and thell the Local Police: the Bar owner will be fined. (Hmmm...ok, good advice.)
2. Please, don't sit on the bridges, people need pass.
3. Don't write on the walls and monuments: venice is a heritage of mankind: it took centuries to buildig it.
4. Don't come in groups: besides paying much more, it's the worst way of visiting the city. (Kinda sucks if you are already there in a group).
5. Don't buy any goods from street traders without stalls: it's all irregular and the items are made by organized crime that exploits children labor. (Well, ok then!)
6. Help us fight the nuisance of street musicians; they annoy restaurant customers. Don't give team any money; they are unlicensed.
7. Venice is not Disneyland, but can become such. The street musicians (that you listen to for only five minutes in you life) make like unbearable for the inhabitants. Don't give them any money.
8. Big boat harm Venice. They let out gas that damage the monuments. Please don't arrive in Venice in big boat. (Again, sucks if you have already done so).
9. Don't travel by waterbuses; they are very expensive (6.50 euro per person). The pollute and cause wave motionwich is dangerous for the city's foundations. (Ummmm...ok. It is the only way to get from place to place other than walking which will get you LOST each time and take minimally an hour)
10. Venice is a small city (6 km x 4 km) and can be entirely couered an foot. in six places you cross the Grand Canal by gondolas for youst 50 cents. you save money and don't pollute. (I TRIED to find these alleged places to no avail).
11. Be careful not to walk on the green spots along the ganks of the canals and the steps leading to the water. They are slippery and extremely dangerous.
12. If you take your healt seriously, don't eat spaghetti with clams; they mostly come from the polluted and carcinogenic (ooooo, good word) waters of the industrial area near Marghera.
13. Respect the others; don't block the alleys.
14. The Town Council, the Curch and the other associations help poor families, the beggars you see around the city have turned mendicity (oooo, another good word) into an organized, lucrative job. Don't give them any money.
15. Avoid sitting at tables of restaurants undergoing restorations. Perhaps you may not think about it, but it is not an ideal option to eat underneath a work site. (Right, got it.)
16. Do not sit at restaurants with limited seating. No need to play by their rules where they do not treat customers with respect and consider you only an easy way to make money. (I still do not understand this one).
17. (My favorite one...) It is not Venezia's fault, but Veritas' (the company in charge of trash removal) who does not provide the sufficient number of trash bins and do not empty them as needed. Besides this, please do not throw trash on the ground.
18. It is always a good habit to check the change given by cashiers, especially in public ticket offices. (Where the real crooks are apparently)
19. Venezia is not a beach, do not walk around the city without a shirt or in beach wear. (It is really the picture associated with this one that is priceless!).
So, there is your 19 point guide to visiting Venice!!
Next posting - Bologna, the travesty of not seeing the Lakes or Piedmont, flight to Nice and Bordeaux....into Espana!
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